Following tradition of celebrities naming their children after a place of conception or any other random thing, being the people they are, it just had to be ludicrous. And they didn’t disappoint.
As, today we found out that Über-ego, self-proclaimed god and copycat meister Kanye West, along with his limelight hogging girlfriend, have named their child North West.
Myself, I don’t listen to Kanye’s horrifying repertoire nor have I ever watched Kim K’s sordid tv show or whatever it is she doing on the back of that conveniently leaked sex tape – but of course, living in today’s society, there is no escaping the lives of the imbecilic duo.
What a name. North West. You can’t but feel sorry for that child.
The parents may believe they’ve invented the Internet all over again by giving the tot such ridiculous name (he probably had a Eureka moment, high-fived himself and considered this to be another great deed of his own divine holiness – I am Yeezus! No you are a bloody idiot, now go away) but the reality is, for the rest of its life, that child will be referred to as what is an intercardinal point on a compass.
You wonder what the deal is with a lot of celebrities. Why the need for a name which demonstrates the parent’s self-importance and brings up future visions about the child, of playground bullying and a speedy journey to the nearest administrative building to claim a name change, upon reaching 18 years of age – really why?
I mean, when I was a child, a name like Saskia or Marko was as wild as you could get.
Laura Wattenberg, a name expert and author of the name guide “The Baby Name Wizard” believes that unusual baby names are likely to emerge among populations of creative people.
She quotes: “They didn’t get where they are today by being conventional thinkers.”
Of course, such creativity of the non-civilian bunch can only result in the most unusual names, like Gwyneth Paltrow’s child Apple or the actor Jason Lee who named his son Pilot Inspektor. Furthermore, currently walking around in mini-celeb land are also a Moxie Crimefighter, an Audio Science and a Tu (her surname is Morrow – you get it? ha!)
It’s a strange trend to call your child something that us simple mortals would not even consider to call our dog. Still, for famous people, this appears to be a must-do, like selling your soul to the devil and changing your face to make it look like an ironed-out handbag.
I am not saying that we, the audience, won’t be tempted to name our babies something stupid, there is after all a child named Hashtag in the UK. That said, it strikes me that celebrities, just can’t help themselves to come up with these names which scream: look at me, look at me, aren’t we cool, wacky and fun OR WHAT?
That child will get the looks for sure, in fact it will become a visual/audio spectacle for them throughout their life. It’s not hard to imagine the jibes and insults they may have to endure and they will certainly observe more raised eyebrows that any one of us will ever get to see.
But there will always be children with silly names who later in life, will change it to something more mundane, like Bowie’s son, Zowie, who decided that the name Duncan was the way forward. That really says it all.
I can imagine little North West playing with Blue Ivy Carter, Beyoncé’s and Jay Z’s daughter. And maybe, after having put down the Swarovski encrusted Barbies, they will plot together to change their names upon entering adulthood – to Mary Smith and Ann Jones. Plain and simple, not a raised eyebrow in sight.